: NIGERIA’S RIDDLES FOR GLOBAL MARKETING!
You see, when you think you should just sit down quietly in your house to sip Zobo while watching ”Ajoche”: an ongoing soap opera that tells how nerve racking the naivety, cruelty and dynamics of men at the corridor of powers could be ; the drama of Nigerian Game of thrones!
Yet, the village people of some people would not allow you do so!
To begin with, women like the first Lady Aisha Buhari are very scarce and I give my twale to the first lady: They are able to blow hot in one minute and the next minute they are as cold as ice.
Its the intuition of securing power that cries for world class sympathy when even the blind can see the obvious. Madam Aisha whose love for the ”ozza” room was made known on the global screen by Mr President for her clarion call of ”save the seat” from power hijack, has now become the woman of the moment.
Going by her words, Madam Aisha did join Mr President’ s campaign trains perhaps because the power hijackers had let go of Mr President or for the old times sake of the first family. What was sure was that the Nigeria’s economical indices have not translated to improved living or better security of lives even after we have gone to the polls and came back.
With our elections results which now have become the tribunal’s headaches and INEC’s discordant tunes of saved or unsaved results at the INEC server; the internet clouds of Atiku and his now contested citizenship of Nigeria have become the legal battle to chew for a very long time. And we will wait.
With many unemployable graduates who were taught by Professors that cannot deliver simple election results without altering figures. If the Osun state Chief returning officer of the pioneer modern day inconclusivity of elections was a primary school teacher, we could make him pass the responsibility tests. But a university professor performing poorly at such a responsible office of the INEC to the chagrin of his students, is an anathema.
Perhaps you think the problems of Nigeria’s youths is unemployment. No, it is inability to find a handful of adults responsible, diligent or perspicuous enough to be stood out as mentors.
According to the 2019 latest list of the Nigerian Universities commission (NUC), there are at least 170 universities available in Nigeria: 43 federal, 48 state and 79 private universities. And Ghana has 9 public universities and 8 technical universities in all and yet Nigerian students throng Accra for admissions every year leaving 170 universities at home. Efun n bedi? (A spell or a doom?)
Yes, so as giant of Africa we have one of the highest numbers of Universities in the world and yet none of our universities could make the 100th list globally and consistently in the last 10 years.
It is logical then to say if you see Mrs Buhari, tell her to do survellance of the present state of Nigerian Universities and see how the facilities have been neglected from poor funding to flight of manpowers.
When electrical electronic enginnering students habitually draw their low resistance and high voltage circuits on 2D papers while intending to work in power and communication firms and our undergraduates in pure laboratory based science students cannot identify the original colour of sulphuric acid; always cramming and coding: computer programmer without laptop!
Tell Mrs Buhari to set up funds for starved children who are eating leaves in IDP camps that dot most of the North – Eastern states. The young children – many of whom have lost their parents from the ravaging insecurities that have become our National flag – cannot go to basic schools; they have been confined to tents and sticks camps….Just who exactly did we offend?
If the war displaced children ever get to secondary schools by a supermiracle, they will need another wonderful wonders to pass the now very competitive Oloyede’s UTME because their neuronal connections that should have boosted their intelligent qoutients have been sacrificed to kwashiorkor and marasmus when a full fledged homo sapien and omnivore has become herbivore. This is not a fable or ”fabu”! Nigerian children eating leaves in IDP camps is another riddle of global embarrassment!
That is where Mrs Buhari and all her phillantropic friends that would come and donate their eye – servicing – billions for a university that has lost her bearing from onset, should send their monies of varied aetiologies and origins!
And as if that was enough, the gobsmackingly naive minister of labour and productivity – Dr Chris Ngige broke another record and shook our tables again, albeit ignorantly: the only doctor that does not know the current WHO’s doctors’ patients of 1doctor to 600 patients came live on channels!
When your village people have finished your matter, only God can deliver you from announcing the veracity of your numbskull…..
So the cocky minister could not stop from getting ahead of himself: cameras, light, unrestricted credit alerts and unsolicited funds from his fellow nincompoops, you should have asked the original -oga – on – top.com how to escape international claptrap when you are one on one with the the Channels’ queen of the screen – Maupe!
To have 40,000 doctors to about 200, 000 000 Nigerians that translates to 1 Nigerian doctor to 5000 Nigerian patients, is an idiocy that refused to be cured because of the kind of leaders Nigeria always throws up at each stage of her development. Nigeria that cannot boast of something as simple and as basic as functional primary health care is now boasting of surplus doctors: abeg Mr Ngige, who dashed monkey banana?
We cannot provide the essential care that is locally accesible not to talk of being universally acceptable and still a senior executive officer of the federation is boasting of having excess hippocratic brethren.
Well, we may have to add the native doctors to boost the Ngige’s statistics!
If lies do not leave the cortex of our public officers now, then there would be a time when they would leave those lies behind and having being relocated underground by nature.
Once a school LIE (local inspector of education) goes around saying the teachers under his or her jurisdiction cannot use the bottle of coke to write the letter ”O”, please don’t argue with him or her; the LIE is showcasing her monumentally deserving failure.
Unfortunately, I don’t know the last time out minister of labour has ” laboured” to see 25 patients in a noisy general hospital talkless of measuring his own productivity if he can manage to see 70 patients when a young MB;BS graduate is monitoring more than 12 peripartal women in labours on a call with only one mid – wife on duty: a dangerous multitasking that does not concern anybody: the outcome ”okan aye” once the patients can lie down in a place call hospital – a cocoon in the real sense!
Yet, Mr Ngige is supposed to be the epitome of productivity…..alawada kerikeri – the stand- up comedian of the Year!
You can continue sir till the day Nigerians understand the gravity of what you have done today and probably take you up; even Maupe Ogun – Yusuff could not hide her misery and desolation at such insouciance of yours!
In the long run, when insecurities have made Nigeria her headquarters; and high infant mortalities with unbelivable maternal deaths have located us as one of the poorest countries in the world; no one needs to shove any salacious statistics into your throats except you need a braille.
And finally we can market our first lady’s proposed university and our surplus doctors across the global village, it will sell quickly as the international riddle of the year.
By the way, is today another April’s first?
The laboured interview of the productivity minister:Odiegwu!